The Loft

There are reasons for why I dress the way I do when I go out to somewhere like The Alice in Fetishland party at The Loft in Leeds, one is because it offers the opportunity to show off, another is because of the endurance.

Consider if you haven't tried wearing a material that squeezes the entire surface area of your body what it must feel like beneath, then over this wear more layers of it. As with an elastic band you can naturally feel its tension when stretched, so it is when wearing rubber, you stretch within it and instantly feel a need to conform back to the materials most at ease state. Then don some high heel boots, a corset, a hood and movement and senses become limited, debilitating. Apart from the various pressures on the body, the sensory distortions, the restricted capacity to move and breathe, the hinderance to talking, the fluctuations in body temperatures and the movements of surface liquids, lubes and sweats, the difficulty to use toilet facilities and to drink, it is also the thought of just how long can you endure this whilst out of your private comfort zone.

The thing about private comfort zones is that I love them, they are so nice and secure and reassuring, but I also hate them and must test them. I have always been a private soul, I love my own company, never get lonely, always have plenty to do so out in a social atmosphere I become a little lost, inadaquete. I don't know how best to approach people. I think are they like me and don't mind just being on their own but then I also think what is the point of being amongst people of like kind if you don't make contact. I come a little unstuck as to what to do, how to introduce myself. Of course finding it hard to hear and talk in a rubber hood doesn't help - one year I will learn! But then my communication has always been channelled visually. So yes I go to extremes in what I wear and this is my opening to the world, to advertise and sell something of myself that I can't do socially in words. It grabs peoples attention and I get recognised.

And it is wonderful to be recognised!

So I thank everyone who made me feel so welcome at The Loft, who came up and stroked me, admired me and warmly accepted me, particularly Felice.